Naruto RPG • Beyond the Shinobi
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» new jutsu 03
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New Character [Approved - KK]

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Post by chuymilligan Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:48 am

Ok, umm so yeah my character died (cuz i didnt really like him) and i thought that if i made a genin it would help out the site more than some crazy idiot running around killing people. So yeah here he is

Basic Character Information:
Name:Chuy Milligan
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Clan: Milligan

Looks: New Character [Approved - KK] 2gwszg3

Personality: Chuy always feel the need to act, to charge, and show such ardor as pushes you to take up all challenges. He prefers to launch out for you've confidence in your energy, he drives, hes daring, and if necessary, even his nerve in order to extricate himself from a difficult situation. But on the contrary, he may not sufficiently take obstacles into account for his reflection is not always equal to his dynamism: he offhandedly neglects the necessity to examine what's tempting him before taking the plunge. Chuy has a strong mind and is able to fight things off with it many times. He has great knowledge of battle tactics making him harder to take down than most people. He is able to think tactics up in a matter of seconds.


Basic Clan Information
[Optional, may not apply]
Kekkei Gekkei: Lightning Beetle Eyes
Description: The user forces Chakra into their eyes allowing them to see in 50% slown down motion. This also gives the user greater accuracy. This uses great amounts of chakra and cannot even be used before Chuunin. They are also able to sense when chakra is in the area, and the location of it.
Special Effect:
Link: [url=][/url]


Skill and Rank Information
Village: Konohagakure
Rank: Genin

Special Characteristics: Chuy has a digital watch on his left wrist. His right wrist has many thread bracelets on it made from his mother and family members.
Special Effects:

Elements: Wind, Lightning
Skills Specialties: Ninjutsu, Genjutsu


Jutsus

All Academy techniques.

Name: Lightning ball
Rank: D
Element: Lightning
Description: The user makes a small ball of lightning that can be thrown or hit. It does not have enough power to kill someone, just give a sting and mess up their concentration.

Name: Push
Rank: D
Element: Wind
Description: The user pushes the air in front of him forward causing a strong gust of wind in that direction. This wind is about 50 miles per hour at this level.

Name: Pull
Rank: D
Element: Wind
Description: The user pulls the air in front of him causing a strong suction in his direction. This suction will pull almost anyone off of their feet and towards him.

Name: Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique
Rank: D
Element: N/A
Description: Magen • Narakumi no Jutsu is a Genjutsu technique that causes its target to see a horrifying vision. The ninja will use the serpent hand seal to cause a circle of leaves to spin and envelop the target and then fall away. Once cast the world will appear normal to the target until they see the illusion.


History and RP Sample
History:
Chuy was born in Konoha village at the local hospital. Chuy was raised by his loving clan members who promised him safety and loyalty. Chuy was always slacking off though. He never really wanted to do school work but more of just mess around practicing his jutsus. Chuy just practiced pushing and pulling the air. He was good at messing with peoples heads too.

Chuy started at the academy and was really good at getting in trouble. He got into it a lot and almost failed the first time but got better grades as the year continued. Chuy was made a genin after his first year of going to the academy. He learned his first lightning jutsu from his father along with his genjutsu. He has practiced his genjutsu on many people scaring them greatly.

Rp Sample:
Chuy looked at the two men standing there with his back to him. Both had smirks on their face which Chuy could barely see. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his Chuy's head. His face was already looking like he went into a pool. He was almost out of chakra and this started to look like the end for him. He started forming a few handsigns when he whispered "Push." The men in front of him went flying about 10 yards. "Nows my chance" he thought as he started heading in the other direction.


Last edited by chuymilligan on Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:04 pm; edited 4 times in total
chuymilligan
chuymilligan
Genin
Genin

Number of posts : 156
Age : 31
Location : NY, USA
Country : Konohagakure no Sato
Element : Wind
Element #2 : Lightning
Registration date : 2008-12-08

Ninja Profile
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http://myspace.com/chuymilligan

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Post by xoxKitKat Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:06 pm

Alright, things look decent. Just as a heads up, I would suggest that you recheck your posts so you are sure they make sense. There are times you forget a word, or add a different one into its place, making the sentence hard to read. I guessed through most of these, but it's just an after thought. Another thing I would like to press on is punctuation and grammatical order. You have many mistakes in your RP mostly dealing with this. When a person speaks in quotations don't forget to add a "." or "," if you're going to continue the sentence.

i.e
"Okay, c'mon, you can do this," he told himself while moving his fingers into the proper hand signs.

vs.

Chuy moved his fingers into the proper hand signs, all the while whispering to himself, "Okay, c'mon, you can do this."

That's really it. I would like a little more on your personality and your appearance seeing how the picture is crops off after his shoulders. Thanks hun.
xoxKitKat
xoxKitKat
ANBU
ANBU

Number of posts : 466
Country : Sunagakure no Sato
Element : Water
Element #2 : Fire
Registration date : 2008-10-09

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Post by chuymilligan Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:32 pm

OK i completely changed my app because i wanted a custom guy instead of a nara.

I did what you asked so let me know if anything needs to be changed.
chuymilligan
chuymilligan
Genin
Genin

Number of posts : 156
Age : 31
Location : NY, USA
Country : Konohagakure no Sato
Element : Wind
Element #2 : Lightning
Registration date : 2008-12-08

Ninja Profile
Health Bar:
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http://myspace.com/chuymilligan

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Post by xoxKitKat Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:27 am

I still dislike the lack of personality; it seems rather mature for a 15 year old genin, but whatever! It's your character!

Approved!
xoxKitKat
xoxKitKat
ANBU
ANBU

Number of posts : 466
Country : Sunagakure no Sato
Element : Water
Element #2 : Fire
Registration date : 2008-10-09

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Post by Yun Disukai Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:25 pm

Adding Jutsu

Name: Ykimo
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: 0-20 yards
Element: Lightning
Description: The user sends chakra through the points of their fingertips at the direction they are pointing. This turns into lightning that would be hard to dodge. This lightning is not deadly but has enough energy to knock stun the part of the body it hits for 2 posts.

Name: Bubble
Rank: C
Type: Ninjutsu
Range: -
Element: Wind
Description: The user makes a bubble around them that has high velocity winds. This makes all attacks on them useless. It simply makes all attacks that are on him go past him. This uses a lot of chakra and is not very effective at genin level. At genin level, it can only block kunais and shurriken. At chuunin level and beyond it will block almost every jutsu that is a direct attack. This can only last one post and uses up a lot of chakra.

Name: Ykimo komishi
Rank: C
Type: Ninjustu
Range: 0-20 yards
Element: Lightning
Description: The user makes a point with his finger that sends an electrical shock through his fingers. This is an upgraded version of Ykimo and uses more chakra. This shock does the same damage as Ykimo but it jumps from person to person. This makes it very good for fighting multiple targets. It jumps to a maximum of 3 times and it only will jump to people within 10 yards of the last jump. This will not jump back to the user because it is using their chakra and is repelled because of that.

Name: Bending Reality
Rank: C
Type: Genjutsu
Range: 0-20 yards
Duration: until cancelled
Effect: the target is put into a state that is under the control of the user.
Description: The user must make eye contact with the target to get this to work. This is not a jutsu that is noticed at first but can be started whenever the user pleases. The user puts the target into a state where the objects around them can be changed or manipulated into different things. The user basically controls what the target sees but cannot make objects disappear, such as themselves, until jounin level. The user is able to give nonhuman objects human characteristics. The user is also able to make objects. For example, the user is able to make the target get "attacked" by trees when really nothing happened. The target still can walk around and do things but might see objects that aren't there or might not see objects that are there. This uses a huge amount of chakra unless mastered and cannot be held by a genin for more than 2 posts. The more detail a user puts into the genjusu, the more chakra it uses. If a genin uses this for more than 2 posts, he will have no chakra left. Chuunin cant use more than 3 posts. Jounin cant use it more than 5 posts.
Yun Disukai
Yun Disukai
A Ranked Missing-Ninja
A Ranked Missing-Ninja

Number of posts : 534
Age : 31
Location : over the Horizon
Country : Sunagakure no Sato
Element : Wind
Registration date : 2008-10-09

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